Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t wonderful?

Student: “Yes sir! if he had been sitting in the classroom looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”

   *    *   *   *

Two factory workers talking:

Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

Man: “And how would you do that?”

Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in:

Boss: “What are you doing?”

Woman: “I’m a light bulb!”

Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy! I think you need to take the day off.” Finding the matter so easy the man starts to follow woman! Seeing this the boss asked:

Boss: “Where are you going?”

Man: “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

   *    *   *   *

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” The little girl replied, “My homework.”

   *    *   *   *

Teacher: “If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?”

Vincent: “One dollar.”

Teacher: “You don’t know your arithmetic.”

Vincent: “You don’t know my father.”

   *    *   *   *

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